Zooze the Horse roams around the pasture near Lamar State College. Zooze thinks about problems in academia. Zhe wants proffies to submit posts (blog posts, not fence posts).
Monday, June 5, 2017
Optimistic Monday Magic?
If you could wave a magic wand and make today the ideal day at your school, what would be most noticeably different from last week?
I've often thought about what a great faculty we could assemble from the people on this blog. Frod would teach astronomy, of course; EMH would teach math; TubaPlayingProf in the music department; and we'd have our choice of great English/composition profs. If Fab doesn't want the dean job, maybe Suzy from Square State would be willing to return to administration, since she'd be working with people from here rather than her real-life colleagues.
Is that what I'm supposed to be doing? It's getting increasingly harder to remember, since each semester's class gets so much worse, I nowadays seemingly staple dicks to the floor full-time.
But, Frod, we're waving our magic wand (no Freudian wisecracks, please) and making everything perfect. You wouldn't have to do any stapling at all. And the rest of us would just flock to your courses and be the most attentive students ever.
Well, if you're going THAT far, I'd much rather see improved cognitive capacity (that's right, higher IQs), since increasingly many don't seem able to understand even that basics of what I have for them. All that time staring at video screens is having a very bad effect. Also recommended would be a modicum of curiosity: ones who ask questions about what they don't understand make the class better for everyone, especially me. But if we're spinning fantasies here, how about detailed plans for a starship drive?
I'll leave the starship drive to you, but I'm with you all the way on the improved cognitive capacity. As I've often said before on this blog, I'm not a proffie myself, and I swear I don't know how you all put up with it, year after year.
Penny: Sorry, I don't mean to be cheeky. However, how my students seem every year to get more, and MORE, and more IMMATURE is really starting to get to me. If I could wave a magic wand, might I please get some students who really do become adults when they turn 18?
Frod, that's exactly what I was trying to say: They're bad as it is, they keep getting worse, and our magic wand will certainly have to solve that problem or it won't be worthy of the name. Sorry if that didn't come through.
I'm profoundly grateful that my own children got through school before NCLB came along. Their schools encouraged them to be age-appropriately responsible and expected actual work from them, and they're now reasonably capable adults, if I say so myself.
Tenure-track salaries were increased to meet the local cost of living, full-time contingent salaries were increased to match tenure-track salaries plus 25% to make up for the need to save for possible earlier retirement/employment gaps, and part-time contingent (adjunct) per-class salaries were pro-rated based on those of full-time contingent faculty of comparable education and experience.
.....and everybody's taken off for the beach or their favorite farflung archive/field site, and there's nobody left to teach summer classes. Hmm; that might be a problem. But I suspect it would work out over time. Either the higher salaries (including summer salaries) would be attractive enough to lure some people to teach each summer (after all, there are always tuitions, downpayments, full-year sabbaticals, and other big expenses for which to save), or we could go to the year-'round schedule our online education "partner" apparently wants us to adopt (with the option of taking any one of three terms -- fall, spring, and summer -- off).
In the meantime, I'm teaching, but have no idea what's actually going on "at school," since my summer classes are online. I would notice if something disastrous enough to take the email and LMS servers offline occurred, and I suppose I'd also get text alerts, but that's about it.
80 percent more classroom teachers--full time, with appropriate pay and benefits--and to pay for it--90 percent fewer vice presidents, associate vice presidents, assistant vice presidents, etc.
I would teach literally everything during summer session so I wouldn't have to put out fires started by my colleagues who don't understand BASIC principles of cognition and learning.
I mean because you said overly optimistic, so I can imagine I would enjoy that.
Overly optimistic?
ReplyDeleteWe're into summer break now, so last week was pretty good as it was.
ReplyDeleteMy colleagues replaced with you guys.
ReplyDeleteI'd go for that!
DeleteDo we get to nominate the Dean?
Fab, of course. He'd say yes to us. Or would he? After all, he's spent a good deal of time seeing how the sausage is made (i.e. the RGM's inbox).
DeleteI've often thought about what a great faculty we could assemble from the people on this blog. Frod would teach astronomy, of course; EMH would teach math; TubaPlayingProf in the music department; and we'd have our choice of great English/composition profs. If Fab doesn't want the dean job, maybe Suzy from Square State would be willing to return to administration, since she'd be working with people from here rather than her real-life colleagues.
DeleteIs that what I'm supposed to be doing? It's getting increasingly harder to remember, since each semester's class gets so much worse, I nowadays seemingly staple dicks to the floor full-time.
DeleteBut, Frod, we're waving our magic wand (no Freudian wisecracks, please) and making everything perfect. You wouldn't have to do any stapling at all. And the rest of us would just flock to your courses and be the most attentive students ever.
DeleteWell, if you're going THAT far, I'd much rather see improved cognitive capacity (that's right, higher IQs), since increasingly many don't seem able to understand even that basics of what I have for them. All that time staring at video screens is having a very bad effect. Also recommended would be a modicum of curiosity: ones who ask questions about what they don't understand make the class better for everyone, especially me. But if we're spinning fantasies here, how about detailed plans for a starship drive?
DeleteI'll leave the starship drive to you, but I'm with you all the way on the improved cognitive capacity. As I've often said before on this blog, I'm not a proffie myself, and I swear I don't know how you all put up with it, year after year.
DeletePenny: Sorry, I don't mean to be cheeky. However, how my students seem every year to get more, and MORE, and more IMMATURE is really starting to get to me. If I could wave a magic wand, might I please get some students who really do become adults when they turn 18?
DeleteFrod, that's exactly what I was trying to say: They're bad as it is, they keep getting worse, and our magic wand will certainly have to solve that problem or it won't be worthy of the name. Sorry if that didn't come through.
DeleteI'm profoundly grateful that my own children got through school before NCLB came along. Their schools encouraged them to be age-appropriately responsible and expected actual work from them, and they're now reasonably capable adults, if I say so myself.
Tenure-track salaries were increased to meet the local cost of living, full-time contingent salaries were increased to match tenure-track salaries plus 25% to make up for the need to save for possible earlier retirement/employment gaps, and part-time contingent (adjunct) per-class salaries were pro-rated based on those of full-time contingent faculty of comparable education and experience.
ReplyDelete.....and everybody's taken off for the beach or their favorite farflung archive/field site, and there's nobody left to teach summer classes. Hmm; that might be a problem. But I suspect it would work out over time. Either the higher salaries (including summer salaries) would be attractive enough to lure some people to teach each summer (after all, there are always tuitions, downpayments, full-year sabbaticals, and other big expenses for which to save), or we could go to the year-'round schedule our online education "partner" apparently wants us to adopt (with the option of taking any one of three terms -- fall, spring, and summer -- off).
In the meantime, I'm teaching, but have no idea what's actually going on "at school," since my summer classes are online. I would notice if something disastrous enough to take the email and LMS servers offline occurred, and I suppose I'd also get text alerts, but that's about it.
80 percent more classroom teachers--full time, with appropriate pay and benefits--and to pay for it--90 percent fewer vice presidents, associate vice presidents, assistant vice presidents, etc.
ReplyDeleteI would teach literally everything during summer session so I wouldn't have to put out fires started by my colleagues who don't understand BASIC principles of cognition and learning.
ReplyDeleteI mean because you said overly optimistic, so I can imagine I would enjoy that.