coming soon to a CC near you... [from Wombat of the Copier]

Overheard from the next booth at a burrito place - 

Optimist (delusional friend):  I don't think it's as bad as you think.  No one has to find out.  Like when it goes on Facebook no one looks for like proof unless they already have some idea.  I'm your bro - no one is going to hear it from me, so...

Realist (main character, totally fucked):  When what goes on Facebook?  What the fuck are you even saying?  This is really bad.  

Optimist:  No, calm down, listen.  Not even your mom read it right so if she hasn't figured it out, how is anyone going to know?  You were going to live off campus anyway and now you know you're going to need a job.  So, just go there and find a job there and go to some of the games anyway.  Then post the pictures on Facebook and everyone from school will be like "Yo, there's Jay in State College" no one is going to be like "hmm is that the section where students sit?  is that a new Penn State sweatshirt, or the one he's always had..."

Realist:  Are you insane?  My mom is going to flip her shit when she finds out and SHE will put "Jay didn't actually get into Penn State because he fucking failed social studies and now he's at [local community college] and he needs a fucking job because I'm charging him rent!" on Facebook.

Optimist:  No that's what I'm saying, don't tell anyone.  Just go there.  Instead of putting in for that dip shit bagel shop job just put in for one in State College and...

Realist:  I can't afford an apartment on bagel shop money, moron.  I can't believe you got in and my acceptance was rescinded.  And what exactly will happen when my parents keep writing tuition checks and Penn keeps not cashing them?  

Optimist:  Maybe tell your parents the checks have to be written to you and that way you can actually take some of that money to make up the rent issue and then...

Realist:  I can't believe you got in and my acceptance was rescinded.