moved on to another position.
My whole professional life I've coveted teaching "the" course pertaining to the sub-discipline in which I got my post-graduate degree.
I'm not faculty, I'm an admin, but I was in earshot when it came up that they didn't know who to give it to this year so I just blurted out "Let me do it" before I could think.
They said yes.
I'm glad - ok - no regrets - this is the most exciting thing that has ever happened.
But... I am being crushed under impostor-syndrome stress. I didn't have this when it wasn't my field - I said "yeah, not me, but I'll do it" and felt free. This is actually me, so:
1) why is this so stressful (originally I said "why is this so hard?" and it's not - it's not hard at all - it's right in my wheelhouse - this is my thing)
and
2) what do I do about it?
--Love, WotC
Remind yourself of the things you do well and focus there first.
ReplyDeleteBe future-oriented.
Know that you have social support.
Thanks :)
DeleteAre you into it yet? Probably once you get started you'll realize that you have WAY more to teach than you have time to teach it. I got that way when I finally got my specialization
ReplyDeleteOnce you hit that point, you realize you're fine - you can't possibly reach the ends of your expertise in the time provided. You're no imposter.
There were some obligatory almost place-holder days, but today was the first meaty day and stuff I forgot I knew bubbled up out of my mouth in response to unexpected questions - full and coherent - it was like watching a movie of what I thought I'd be like if I ever got to teach this :)
ReplyDelete