My first class of the new year is about to start and I am more nervous than I have been in ages. It’s not even a pleasant excited nervous. It feels more like the creeping feeling of doom I felt when I was twelve and the class bully had said he was going to jump me after school. It’s not the class material that’s prompting this. I am about to go teach the survey class I first taught in 1985. I can teach this blindfolded. No, it’s the political tone now that scares me. I had an unsettling conversation with an administrator last week. Even on our little campus, one of the most diverse in the area, hate incidents suddenly hit new all-times highs last fall, aimed at Muslim, black, and Latin students. Mostly graffiti, nasty notes, and insults screamed across a room, there was an actual death threat from a Trump-supporting white student against a Trump-opponent during class. Our Security (excuse me, Campus Safety) is on alert and professors are holding their breath as Inauguration Day approaches. Since we’re in the greater DC area, a lot of students will be attending either the inauguration or one of the protests. Feelings will be aroused all around. As a result, for the first time ever I am recording my lectures, and I have begun recording meetings with students in my office (my state is a “one party consent" state).
This is ridiculous and it is appalling that we’ve come to this. I love my job and am pissed off beyond belief that I am dreading walking into a classroom. I have very strong political beliefs, but in my past career as a government employee we were encouraged to be non-partisan and I took that to heart. Besides, when I was a student I didn’t like it when professors brought their politics too heavily to class, even if I agreed with them. I felt it stifled classroom debate. So I don’t make political comments in class and do not even have political stickers on my car. I am wearing a small safety pin now. Screw those that say it’s “virtue signaling.” Two of my students thanked me quietly for it last semester. If it tells some of my students that they can safely come to me for help, then I’ll do it. (And yes, I’ve spoken to some students I know from vulnerable groups to tell them I am here to help if they feel threatened. ) Oh, and before somebody starts to talk about how conservative students can feel threatened on a college campus, I teach at a somewhat conservative school. McCain and Romney both carried the student vote on our campus the previous two elections. This time it was Secretary Clinton. So while there is anger on both sides, the hate seems to be flowing mostly one way. That makes for a dangerous situation. I don’t believe in campus as a huge “safe space.” College is a spot where you are supposed to argue, debate, and hear multiple perspectives. But yelling “Trump’s going to send you home!” to a Hispanic student or “Sand-nigger” at a Muslim are not debate. They’re abuse. And that is NOT what campus is for, but that, I fear, is where we are at. It makes me angry. It makes me sick. It makes me worry about my students’ futures, for those at the receiving end of the abuse, and for those that are doing the screaming as both are learning exactly the wrong lessons.
So, off I go to class. Wish me luck.
Middle-Aged and Morose
Good luck! I agree that this is all so sickening. Locally, we're looking at a renewed push for guns on public university campuses, which I'm sure is going to help the reasoned debate. I just can't even...
ReplyDeleteHope it went well. So far, things seem fairly peaceful on my campus (maybe because school isn't in session yet?), but the ingredients for trouble (including, yes, renewed conversation about guns on campus) are there. Sometimes I'm very glad to be teaching writing to STEM majors who pick their own topics (but I do have a few exercises, readings, etc., that at least touch on topics that are not, in fact, controversial among scientists, but that some treat as controversial -- e.g. the thoroughly-discredited supposed link between vaccination and autism.
ReplyDeleteI've never considered recording (though I am aware that my students might be, with or without the permission that the syllabus requires them to get, even for conferences), but I suppose I can be glad that a bit more than 50% of my teaching is now done fully-online, which means that there's a written record of nearly every interaction (the only exception would be the occasional skype session -- which, yes, I assume someone else might be recording, though I've never felt the conversation was heading in a direction that might show up on youtube. Mostly, I get careful when students start asking about grades/potential grades in one-on-one exchanges, since our students are probably more likely to be grade-obsessed than ideologically-obsessed).
DeleteI taught an undergrad course for the first time in a long time last night, at a new university, in a new state, with concealed weapons permitted on campus. The link between vaccines and autism came up, as did a number of other ethics issues. I provided the current scientific positions. So far, so good. This class is bound to bring up many more opportunities to discuss controversial things, and to challenge students' reasoning. I am nervous - not just because of the current political climate (though that's an obvious reason), but also because I'm really out of practice judging where to draw the boundaries when making those reasoning challenges in discussions with undergraduates, especially in the moment in the middle of a class. I'm out of practice reading the reactions I'm getting from a room of 80 people.
ReplyDeleteI've been on this campus for six months now, and I'm in a very liberal department. I'm the ONLY one who has worn a safety pin (and I've seen no one anywhere in the community or city more broadly, either). I've moved it, now, from my clothing to my bag. I've seen casual racism in the community, but not any similar displays on campus, and no aggression or violence. I feel less safe than I did in my previous location, but most of that is my own perception. The university itself has given me no reason to feel that way.
-Transplanted Anne
All I can say is that I'm in the exact same boat, having started teaching at about the same time, experiencing a lot of the same stuff. It all feels like a dream, the old days, not just the issues you raise, but everything about the profession.
ReplyDeleteI really would like to teach a few more years, and feel I have a lot to offer, but a goat farm sounds good, too.
so far so good, but Friday will tell...
ReplyDeleteOne bad thing the first day. I got a message from a cousin just as I was leaving for class that a close family member had died that morning. I taught anyway...