Zooze the Horse roams around the pasture near Lamar State College. Zooze thinks about problems in academia. Zhe wants proffies to submit posts (blog posts, not fence posts).
The flava: Johns Hopkins University spent more than a billion dollars more on research and development than the next big spender among research universities to top the NationalScienceFoundation’s annual list for the 39th consecutive year.
I could get through email more efficiently if the text prediction were a little tighter. I need it to check the calendar, and screen for ".edu" endings, then give me these auto-complete one-tap options throughout December:
There were four men, making some noise way up in the stands. And they all had on handcuffs….. and chains..…. and orange jumpsuits. Those kinds of orange jumpsuits. And I remember the sign they were holding up — clear as day. It said: ALLEN IVERSON: THE NEXT MJ But then it had “MJ” crossed out. And they had markered in “OJ.” You have to understand….. I mean, I’m a grown man, now, writing this. But at the time??? I was 19. That’s near a child’s age. And it’s not like I was embarrassed about my past, or about where I came from — NEVER that. But on the same token, it was just, like, Damn. Damn!! Can your boy start fresh, like, ONE time?? Can I just go to college like a normal kid, and play some ball? I’ll tell you this: there isn’t a luxury in the world like being carefree. All these people, they’ll be out here chasing money, and happiness, and this that and the third. But there’s nothing on this earth better than carefree. And that’s the one thing that I realized some of these people out there were never going to let me be. And what made Coach Thompson so special is he knew that, man. He knew that. Coach knew……. and he could see my heart just sinking in that moment. He knew he couldn’t protect me from everything that was in this world. But he sure tried. Here’s what Coach Thompson, MY coach, did for me on that night: He didn’t ask for their sign to be confiscated. He didn’t yell and shout and make a scene. No. See, what Coach did is he calmly walked over to us, player by player, and told us that — don’t worry about our things — we were leaving the floor. That’s it: We were leaving the floor. No big drama. Heads held high. We were there…. and then we were gone. And then once we were off that floor, and it was just Coach back on the court? He calmly told those refs, he said, “Hey, no disrespect. No disrespect to y’all. But here’s what’s going to happen: If you don’t get those four pieces of sh*t outta here, and I’m talking immediately — we’re gonna be forfeiting this game. Understood?” They understood, man.
Prof. Hyde: Say, Jekyll, how is your finals week going?
Dr. Jekyll: The only thing that keeps me sane is laughing at the ridiculousness of some students. Here, I created what the young people call a "meme" to illustrate.
Prof. Hyde: I guess that's why they call him "Scumbag Steve".
The flava: "The problem isn’t that schools aren’t safe enough, but that students don’t feel secure enough in school communities. Emotionally healthy, well-adjusted youth don’t tear through their classrooms armed with weaponry. And we can do our part in keeping schools safe by giving out hugs like candy on Halloween, helping kids feel a sense of belonging, of welcome, and making them feel safe enough to seek help when they need it. (Of course, we can also do our part by making guns harder to access, but that’s a whole other column.) "This feeling of security is what the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) calls “school connectedness,” which it defines as “the belief held by students that adults and peers in the school care about their learning as well as about them as individuals.” When students feel more connected to school, the CDC says, they are more likely to engage in healthy behaviors and succeed academically."
The flava: Undergraduate applications to Michigan State University fell by 8.3 percent over the past year amid the scandal involving former Spartan physician and associate professor Larry Nassar and the school's handling of sexual assault allegations involving athletes. MSU's applications for the fall of 2018 dropped by about 3,000, to 33,129 -- a contrast to rising higher-education applications nationwide and among most of MSU's peer institutions in the Big Ten Conference. Ahead of the Nassar sexual assault allegations first appearing in the media -- in an Indianapolis Star article in 2016 -- applications to the university had increased steadily for seven years, according to an enrollment report released in October. But applications for fall 2017 showed a 3.6 percent decline.
The flava: A number of sororities and fraternities filed lawsuits on Monday challenging a policy Harvard adopted in 2016. Under the policy, students who join single-sex clubs cannot receive endorsement letters from college deans for postgraduate fellowships. Harvard said the aim was to help end practices of exclusion at the school.